Adoption Debunked

For those of you unaware - we are knee deep in the adoption process!  We have filled out the mountains of paperwork, completed several background checks (this is where living in so many states really kills you) and paid lots and lots of money.  We completed our final interview this week and are just waiting to receive a copy of the official home study to sign off on it.

In order for us to be matched with a birth mom, the agency requests the prospective adoptive parents make a Shutterfly book that outlines your family, what life looks like for you, hobbies, who makes up your family, etc.  The birth moms look at them - and based on if it appears they might be interested in you - request to have a face-to-face meeting to get to know each other better.  It's just a chance to ask questions of one another and get a better feel for the other person.  At this point you can make a decision if it seems like it might be a good match or if it just doesn't feel right.  We'll also post a online profile on the agency's website so that moms in other states can check out our profile, too.  We'll be listing with several other states that we have friends and/or family living in because if you do receive a child from another state one of the parents must stay in that state with the baby until the adoption is finalized.  We figure this way I can just stay at friends or a family member's home during this time and it wouldn't be too inconvenient.

There isn't a timeline on when we might be matched - adoption doesn't work on a first-come, first-serve basis.  It's just whenever we are matched with a mom based on what she chooses.  So it could be 2 months or it could be 2 years.  We also will not get 9 months notice of when the baby will be born.  Most of the time the moms come to the agency in their 2nd or 3rd trimester so you're working on that time-frame.  In light of this, we're trying to do as much ahead of time as possible since we don't know what our ETA is.  Obviously, we're not decorating the baby's room or anything like that, but we've started cleaning boxes out of the room and talking about names (which will remain a secret) since we've never been able to agree on any.  In the meantime, we're excited that it's pretty much a waiting game at this point and who knows what's just around the corner!