What's In A Name?

So, while we waited for Ben for four years, it took us about just as long to come up with a name.  We could not agree on anything.  Nothing.  Matt likes family names - I don't like naming babies after family members.  Matt like historic names - I think they're old-fashioned.  I mostly like girl names - Matt mostly had boy names picked out.  It was a nightmare.

So I decided to buy a baby name book last fall after we had officially listed our profile with the adoption agency.  My thinking was, "Matt and I have never come up with names we agree on.  We might not get a lot of head's up when Baby Lawson comes along so we need to at least narrow it down".  So we highlighted names in the book that we each liked and then looked at the overlap.  There wasn't much, but we had narrowed it down.  

The one thing we agreed on was middle names.  I compromised and said that we could do family middle names.  Matt's family for boy, my family for girl.  It seemed fair.  Unfortunately, Matt wanted to use his paternal grandpa's name - Archibald.  Heck no.  I was not going to allow my child's middle name to be Archibald.  So I bargained with Matt.  One day I suggested Archer.  I explained it still paid homage to Archibald without being so old-fashioned and dated.  He loved it.  I loved it.  Relief.

So fast forward to when Ben was born - we had a for sure middle name, but only had the first name narrowed down to two names.  We were 99% sure of what his full name was going to be, but we thought maybe we should see him first and make sure he looked like his name.  Whatever that means.  I brought the Baby Name book to the hospital, just in case, but when we saw him he was totally a Benjamin Archer.  And really, the name is da bomb.  That name could be President some day.  So many people have told us what a strong name it is and we completely agree.  It's not trendy, it's not weird or unique, but a solid, strong name.  

Now technically and legally he is not Benjamin Archer yet, but he is absolutely Benjamin Archer to us.  We cannot wait for the day the adoption is finalized and he belongs to us!

It should be noted that when I spoke with Ben's mom on the phone the day he was born, she shared with me what she had been calling him.  Immediately after sharing his name with me, she was very clear - she told me that this would be our child.  She wanted Matt and I to treat him as if I had given birth to him and name him what we would name a son that we had on our own.  I mean, really, she is just the most amazing person for being able to articulate that.  She picked a beautiful name for him and part of me wanted to incorporate his birth mom's name with the name we chose for him.  Our hesitation was 1) she said to name Ben as we would have named any other baby and 2) two middle names can be messy and a hassle down the road.  We decided it was best just to keep his birth mom's name a special name she gave him and have his legal name be what we chose for him.