State of the Union

You know how Presidents always give personal anecdotes in their State of the Union addresses?  They're supposedly used to make themselves look more "in-touch" with the general population.  You know the ones, "Bobby Jenkins blah, blah, blah, blah, blah until I, the Great One, turned his life around by signing such and such bill... yada, yada, yada"...

I would love Obama to use me as a personal example to show just what is the state of my union.  "Ms. Lifetime Guarantee who showed dedication and hard work to obtain both her undergraduate and Master's degree in under five years has unfortunately been forced to work part-time in an hourly position making minimum wage (I actually don't know if that's true because I don't know what minimum wage is, but I suspect I am very close to it) due to the tanked economy I have aided in creating".  Oh, the uselessness, of these traditions.